Sitting with Dave sounded oddly familiar in the sense that hearing about his early years reminded me of many others I know.
Dave was brought up in the Catholic Church, was baptized, went to CCD, “made his sacraments,” and had parents married to each other. To Dave, “it was pretty much geared like any other…Catholic American family out there in Bergen County.” But for the longest time, he didn't really understand the whole [church and God] thing. “I thought it was just…a gimmick…church, God, it was just something that we were supposed to do…” But during his childhood, there was something that God revealed to Dave as an adult that he didn’t realize back then. There was a moment in his life around the age of 6 or 7, that he remembered saying, “I just want to save all the people that are on the streets.” As Dave describes life back then… “It was a highlight of my life because it was…my mom and dad were very in love…it was very energetic, with all the sports, [was] a stable American family…[just] very stable.” That was until his dad’s affair came to light. “I came to find out that he was actually having a relationship with another woman in his office for about nine years.” And sadly, that became the focal point of his life. Dave was around the age of 10 when his parents separated. And after that, to Dave… “it was really…really chaotic.”
It was an approximate eight-to-nine-year divorce process, in and out of court, and Dave projected most of his anger towards God. He would go so far as to admit, “I blamed God; I cursed Him out. I said, I would never trust you, ever. I never want anything to do with you.” And so, Dave went on what he calls, “a real crazy 24 years of just [living in] a worldly attitude: drugs, violence, sex, and in and out of different homes.” This chaos was compounded by the fact that Dave not only bounced back and forth between parents, but he also attended 6 different high schools as a result of the constant moves. During his sophomore year of high school his stepmother “kicked [him] out at the age of 14,” and he lived with his girlfriend. Even his younger brother was kicked out at the age of 14. At that time, both brothers were dating sisters and “they [the girls’ parents] just took them in…we just lived with our girlfriends, which was very weird, [but it was what it was.]” However, right after graduation he had “nowhere to live.” He was “living on the edge,” not really caring about what he was doing, and as Dave described it, it was… “all a sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll type of thing.”
After high school, his older brother, who was in the Marine Corp living in VA, came and picked him up, and gave him an ultimatum… He told Dave, “It’s either military…and I don’t care what branch or get a job.” So, he joined the Marine Corp, met his “ex-wife” who just so happened to work in the “entertainment industry,” and within 3 months they married and soon after that, had two children. They lived a crazy lifestyle in Hawaii and were both unfaithful to each other.
One morning, they had a doctor's appointment, but Dave was running late. “So, I turned to…my ex-wife and I said, look, we'll have to reschedule because I gotta get to work. I don't want to get a ‘non-traditional punishment’ for being late.” She understood…he got in his car….and began listening to K-Love in the hopes of calming himself down. “…I knew God was speaking to me, but I didn't really get it because I…wasn't doing anything…that involved Him at all. But I just had that spiritual moment. And so, I was driving on Highway One in Hawaii…And I remember…it was lightly raining…and then the car [went] out of control.” Dave ended up sliding along the highway in the opposite direction of oncoming traffic before the car rolled into a quarry approximately 20 feet down. His car was completely destroyed. He says… “I remember…coming to…[knew] what was going on…I look around and I'm sitting there…I was completely fine. Completely fine! I look to my right and that's where my ex-wife would have been...She would have been dead instantly because it was crushed to the seat. And then I looked behind me and it was all crushed to the seats and that would have been where my children would have been, and they would have been dead. I got out of the car. I'm looking at my car and the car is completely mangled…the only part that was fine was where I was sitting." As Dave mentioned… “I was listening to K-Love…at the time, I was like huh, well, you know, guardian angel or something like that. And I remember coming up [the quarry] and a master gunnery sergeant was standing there…He turned to Dave and asked, “where’s the…Did you see the individual? And I was like, what individual? ...the guy who was in the car…where were you?... why are you here? And I was like, well, I'm the guy that was in the car. Guy’s like, well, God saved you because you should have been dead.” There was nothing left to the car’s tires. But, again, not putting two and two together, Dave kept heading down that same path, not giving the glory to God. And that path that Dave spoke of…. went only “downhill” from there. A couple of weeks later, in the middle of the night, his ex-wife left to go to Georgia with another man leaving Dave alone with his 2 boys. He filed for divorce and became a single parent of a 1-year-old and a 6m old. He filed for and was granted full custody of both his children. And what did Dave do? “I went on a big drink binge…went my own route…did my own thing.” But it was evident that God was not only in control, but Dave was unaware of his buried faith/belief system, because he NEVER once was irresponsible when with his children.
Right after the holidays of 2011-2012, the military moved Dave and the boys [from Hawaii] to Long Island to serve what would be his last duty station in the First Marine Corps District. While living in military housing on LI, he met a girl who just so happened to be a friend of the family’s. She was a nurse and together they moved around… Long Island to Little Falls. And that was only because he was “forced” to leave the military. The military wanted to deploy Dave again but seeing as he had custody of the boys, he couldn't nor wanted to leave them. So, was given an ultimatum - get out, or give up your rights to your children, so he chose to stay with his children. Dave looks back on those military years and confesses, “I [clearly] had PTSD…was sleeping for 30 minutes at a time…waking up screaming, and I remember…sitting in my house and I was watching the movie Son of God and crying my eyes out, like, really? I was deployed four times [during] Iraqi Freedom…I lost a lot of friends [there]. And it was tough. I came home. And a lot of the times that I did come home, it was…like [I was] a stranger in my own skin. But, you know, again, God had a purpose for it all, and had a purpose for me to be here.”
Though he can look back now on those years and see what it did to him and for him, at that time he was unable to see how God was moving in his life. He left the military in 2014 and life continued, downhill. “It involved a lot of drugs. And just secrets, steroids, you name it. I was like a typical New Jersey guy that was going to AC, doing drugs, and living my life the way I wanted to.” He didn’t remain faithful; he was cheating on his girlfriend with multiple women. But yet at the same time, once again, he continued to act “responsibly” when with his children.
Dave continues, “I call it being a closet hellion…my kids knew nothing that I was doing on the side.” Dave was a “superhero” to them. “But I knew what I was doing on the other end of things. And I did everything in secret. And it wasn't until 2016 when I realized that something had to change, but I didn't know what it was.”
Post military, Dave obtained two degrees in Business and Project Management and was a business consultant for many companies. “I was making probably about a quarter million dollars a year. But I was living from paycheck to paycheck… because I was trying to fixate my life on drugs and steroids and working out and selfishness and all that ridiculous stuff. And well, I was in the process of a brief period in my life where I didn't have any clients at the time. And I was trying to figure out what was going on. Just kind of trying to find myself.” And then Dave met his boss, Bill “it's so cool how God works because Bill actually graduated from high school with my dad and knew my dad very well.” Dave’s resume might have been on Indeed, but he never sent it out to anyone, not even Bill. Dave goes on to say, “I remember getting a call from him, calling me in for an interview. And, well, nine interviews later. He…hired me on August 16, 2016."
But Dave was still that partying person…doing drugs…cocaine…smoking weed…drinking a lot…still involved with the ex-girlfriend who “was also dabbling in all that stuff.” This lifestyle of his remained a closet situation.; “everything was hidden.” Not even Bill knew. Yet Bill saw something [good] in Dave; telling Dave he was “the right fit.”
I must pause here to comment on the awesomeness of how God works; God brought someone into Dave’s life that saw something [good] in him; God also brought certain someones into both Meg’s life and Don’s life (the 2 testimonies posted prior to Dave’s) so, [you readers/listeners out there] KNOW with assurance, if God hasn’t yet, just wait, cause “suddenly” He will bring that someone into your life!
Dave goes on to mention that it was probably about a month or two into the job when Bill introduced him to God. Dave describes Bill as “A godly man,” one who “walks the walk.” Bill invited Dave to a Wednesday night Bible study at Bethany Church (and yes…that’s where Dave met his beautiful wife, Meg).
He’ll never forget that 1st bible study night. Dave called it “a holy-rolling night” because he was comparing it to his past church experiences. Individuals were speaking in tongues, and it just felt so foreign to him. Dave remembers being “scared.” But he also remembers Bill telling him not to worry, because he would walk with him and hold his hand, which Dave didn’t understand at the time, but he took it regardless. Bill was and is a dad to Dave. And he hasn't left his side since. “Every time he was there, he walked with me...he would teach me, even when we would go to work the next day, he was there. He would always…tell me…how much he
loves me. And those were words I hadn’t heard in years.” To this day, they are still very close and continue to work together.
Dave goes on to say “I didn't really have a God moment [though] until…2016…I was sitting there with 13 cents to my name. I went from making a quarter of a million dollars a year to $35,000 a year to having 13 cents to my name, not being able to put food on the table for my kids…rent was a month late. And I remember sitting there [in his car] he says…cursing God out. And I said, you know…you said to me…You’d take care of me. You said that you'd love me. You said…all this stuff…[those] 13 cents…Where's the abundance in that?” Dave says he’ll never forget that moment…crying hysterically because he had nothing, that feeling of helplessness and afraid of being evicted. Facing Bill and telling him was NOT an option to Dave because he knew if he did, Bill would have helped him out. Dave admits… “You know, it was a pride thing.” But no sooner, while Dave was sitting in the car, “cleaning [himself] up,” demanding God to “show him something,” he gets a phone call from IRS. “No one gets a phone call from IRS unless it's bad.” As she is asking for his name, social security # and bank information, he abruptly says, “Yeah, what do you want? What do I owe you money too?” She replies, “No, actually, we owe you money.” Apparently, back in 2014, Dave overpaid his taxes. But he still didn’t believe her. He even laughed at her saying… “Okay, where's the joke?” But it wasn’t a joke. He did overpay his taxes and the IRS actually did OWE and PAY Dave approximately $3,000.00 and overnighted him the check at his request because he had no money.
He goes on to share with her what had transpired [his rant with God] just minutes before her call. Dave ran into his office, “and I just fell on my face in front of Bill, and I said, Bill, this is true. Like, I know it's money, but still…I don't get it. And from there, that's when things started to really change in my life.”
In 2017, Dave gave his life to Christ and was baptized. “…which was amazing, he says…but this is why I always tell people…we're a work of progress. Because I was still dabbling with drugs and alcohol. But then I met Megan.” Their church was hosting a night for parents who were in their 30s…Dave says [as his eyes “light up”], “…But then I met Megan…We started dating, which was remarkable! …I took that leap of faith, and it was good!” Life began to turn around… “I truly believe God was working through Bill and constantly telling me how much he loved me.” Dave shares with me, “…I didn't really know everything about being a dad…being a husband, or anything like that, or just a regular man in general. But Bill taught me a lot. Bill taught me what it is to love [and be loved]. And God used him for every situation.”
But then Dave and Meg had a fallout. As we know from her testimony last week, she was in the process of getting custody of her daughter. Dave said, “I hated her, because I wanted to be with her. I fell into a drinking phase [again]…smoking weed…. all because I didn't want to face reality.” Dave knows now that the Lord used that time to reveal more things that he really didn't understand. “Megan was always there… “just not really there,” [as Dave had dreamed, she’d be], that was, until she came back into his life.
Now to share a little about Meg and Dave as one:
Once Meg received full custody of Emily, she broke up with Dave [And as we know, Dave was not happy] She did so because she felt she needed to focus on the Lord's restoring of her family, Meg states, “I have to give this my full attention. And I did, and we were on our own for almost a year. And [Emily], she's like, I like him. You could date him…I'm older, you know.” So, they began dating again; he proposed, and within that year they were married in November of 2019. It was an adjustment to say the least. Meg never truly experienced a 2-person income, “ever in my whole life,” she says. It was foreign to her, not to mention 2 adults and 4 kids living under 1 roof. She exhales a sigh of relief, “it was the first time ever in my life that I was like, wow, financially, we're gonna be okay…we have two incomes.” And that was when as Meg shared in her testimony, “The Lord told me [in the beginning of December] I had to leave New York City relief.”
As soon as she left NYC Relief, quarantine hit. So here you have 2 sisters who never had brothers, 2 brothers who never had sisters, newlyweds, and a 1-person income all under one roof, and no one going anywhere. But because of where Meg was in her walk with Jesus, she just knew, “It was fully the Lord…giving us that time to figure out how to now all live together. And together 24/7…nobody left…and I'm so grateful that I listened [to Him]. Because trying to work and figure that out would have been a nightmare…I got to really be a wife and a mom, and to experience…what the Lord wants in that.” They each came into their marriage with their own struggles; compounded with the struggles of quarantine, BUT GOD, made a way! They might have struggled through their first year of marriage, but during their second year, after being home for almost a year…Meg was going stir crazy. “The kids were starting to go back to school. And I was like, I can't, I need to do something. So, I just started to pray and think about what to do next.” And that was when Dave’s co-worker asked for her resume. And as we all know where that led Meg….that was to work at the Hoving Home. I must add, she told Dave that taking this job means no alcohol, no drinking whatsoever. And he said, “Good.” ‘Done.”
Dave’s raw honesty is humbling. “The choices I've made, God opened doors for reasons for me to be here…. a lot of people I know…would say, I’d go back and change [this or that] …go back and do something different. But honestly. I wouldn't. I wouldn't change a thing. Because I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be sitting in front of you. I wouldn't be…going to discipleship…with another guy from the church…that just wouldn't happen…. I wouldn't change it for a second because I wouldn't have…seen God move. How He moves today. You know, I really…can't glorify myself ever. Because it all goes to [Him] every single thing [is from Him].”
Dave works at Specialized Storage Solutions, a Christian organization and business. They pride themselves on “honor, integrity, and service” As Dave mentions, “This is not our business. It's not Bill’s business. It's His [God’s] business.” Their employees are those in need of “a second chance.” Dave is given the opportunity to purposely share his testimony at work. And he does so with intention. One day, after sharing his story with a worker, the worker says to Dave, “I really appreciate you…I thought you were just like everybody else…look at your life. It's awesome.” With conviction, Dave replies, “But it wasn't always awesome. And if it wasn't for God, I wouldn't be able to stand in front of you and say…what you're going through…I've been there. And God healed me to be here right now talking to you…I'm just as real as you are. I've gone through just as much as you have.” This younger gentleman thought Dave was “silver-spooned” his entire life. Dave said to him, “you have no idea…[but now]…I serve a big God that can heal us all...and you need to understand that it's okay. He never turned his back on you.” At one point in this guy’s life, he described how living for the world was so much more abundant than living for God. But yet he now drove a “junker” after the lavish cars and money ran out. Dave says to him… “see, how long did [that] last you? Temporary, right…but God is forever. So, where you are [now]…God is reforming you…for you to see His abundance in your life and what's to come, you have to understand that, you know, Jesus said…take heart. He's already gone through it all…. He’s already gone through all this stuff that you're going through. But you need to…gain roots in Him. And He'll show you the abundance…”
Dave shares with the men he works with that they need to also understand how important it is to be God honoring men…thriving men for God, because their children will see the changes that happen in them, to them, which in turn, “will change generationally.” The night before I sat with Dave to hear his story, he had a similar conversation with his son… “I said to him, God has changed…generationally in my life, where everything was chaotic before me. Then I met God, I met who He is, I [now] have a relationship with him…I’m Phase One of generational curse-changing…there was a curse, it stops at me. I'm now changing. God wants me to change it. And I turned to my son, I said, you’re phase two…you’re phase two because everything that happens from this point on, will change our generations to come…God was not a part of my life before. God is a part of my life now. You are my son. I have two sons, [and now two daughters]. From this point on, your choice as phase two…will change…when you have children, your children will keep seeing this repetition throughout their life and generations to come until Jesus comes. That it all changed at a breaking point where I said yes to God…God already had His hand out, all I had to do was take it.”
Dave goes on to say, “I also believe the enemy can't make us [Christians] lie, steal, cheat, murder…but he most certainly can keep us busy, taking us away from God…and he can hurt me in other ways…attacking my family, attacking my wife…but when I see that I'm hurting because of those attacks, I don't give up, I dig deeper. I root myself deeper. I get more involved in prayer, I get more involved in Him and His Word, because I have to [need to] … Dave’s kids call him “Preacher Dad,” LOL, because as you can see, he “gets into it.” Dave explains, “I get into it because it's so alive to me. It's so life-giving, you know, and it just pours out of me.” Dave might preach, but he most definitely is not “preachy.” And there is a difference. He is excited to talk about Jesus and he talks about Him with “passion & enthusiasm.” He’s on fire for Jesus. I get that!
Dave’s “revelation” from childhood…wanting “to save all the people that are on the streets” is as strong as ever. And it’s more than that also, “God knew from the beginning that the children were supposed to be with us, [Meg & him]. I didn't know that then. But I know that now. Unfortunately, for Juliet's dad, and my ex-wife, they're off doing whatever they do. It's unfortunate, [but] we have to continually pray for them. As much as we as human form, we say, forget that…we have to [pray for them] …because as much as there was a way for us…so there's a way for them as well.” We can all learn a humbling lesson from that!
Dave ends with this… “It’s like what Jesus said, I'm not here for the rich, I'm not here for the healthy, I'm here for the unhealthy, for the sick, for the poor.” “And in turn, we're [to be] here for them too…that's what's important…Our job is to elevate that; elevate the experience that they're supposed to have with Christ…show them that vertical alignment that they [can] have too.”
When leading others to Christ, showing them, guiding them, helping them in their walk with Him, Dave shared something so profound that it has become ingrained in me:
“We are to ‘show’ them God, not ‘become’ their God.”
Dave, you are a God-honoring, thriving man of God. I am grateful to have met you and I humbly thank you for pouring out your heart and soul with authenticity and rawness. Your enthusiasm for Christ is infectious!
Meg, Dave … both of you are truly an inspiration and a testimony to how God can transform lives. How, through God, the “cycle” once lived, CAN be broken. You are not only dedicated to serving the Lord, but you are also dedicated to one another, to see the “cycle” once lived, does not return in your individual lives, and
doesn’t repeat itself in generations to come. And You ARE equipped to do so because God is the focus, center and core of your inner being, of your individual walks with Him, of your walk together as husband and wife, and as your walk as parents.
In the Cali home, “they praise God, they worship God, they give everything to God; God is not just above all He’s in all.”
God Bless the Cali Family!
Comentarios